The ROI of Mommyhood

Feeling proud of my son has to be the best feeling in the world, hands down.  I almost become giddy when he’s done something that really just fills me with complete pride and utter amazement! 

Little backstory….

Last year Cole’s hockey team went to pizza after a tournament.  The parents, who had all become great friends through the season, were busy eating pizza and chit-chatting while the boys played the video games, plugging quarters into them as fast as their grubby little hands can move. Good stuff for a typical winter Sunday afternoon.  Cole decides to try his hand at the “claw machine” – you know the one – it’s like 50 cents per try with a negative 25% chance of actually winning.  Yep, that one.  Well as luck would have it, he won.  And won, and won, and won….6 times!  He’s freaking out, his friends are cheering him on, the kid is a claw machine legend.  He runs up to me with his 6 new stuffed animals and is bragging about how he won.  All good stuff for him…and then I look at the 5 sad faces behind him.  Nobody else had any luck, and they were all left empty-handed to watch Cole relish in his claw machine glory.  I get the great idea that Cole should maybe share with his friends.  There are six kids total and six toys.  Good idea, right?  Oh heck no.  Worst idea, worst mom, worst day ev-er!  I’m shocked.  My child seriously needs six additional stuffed animals?  He cannot share with his friends?  I was horrified and disappointed because I knew that if the tables were turned, he would certainly want his friend to share.  But, I gave him the option and told him I would stand by his decision.

While this isn’t the only time I’ve witnessed the ME behavior, it’s the time that stands out the most.  There’s been countless other times playing with friends, “I get to go first,” “Umm…I call the good bike” or “I get to be goalie”  You know how they are – little people who truly believe the world revolves around them.  Hard to swallow as a parent sometimes.  I do the usual, “Cole, your friend is a guest here and you should let him go first…” and hope that some day it will click.

Fast forward to current day-ish...

In March Cole and I visited my parents for his spring break.  On the way back home, just as we’re about to board our second plane, while I’m mid-desperate search for chap stick in my purse I find a crisp $100 bill.  My parents are notorious for hiding money for me when I see them.  Cole sees it and says, “WHOA!  Where’d you get that?”  I told him it must have been Grandma or Grandpa, and that we can split it.  I put it back in my purse and forget about it.  A few days go by and Cole asks about the money and when he can spend his half.  I keep saying soon, really just in an effort to find the time for a shopping spree. 

A few weeks ago our receptionist at work was upset that her dog had to undergo cancer treatment.  It was very expensive and she’s a single mom (props!!).  This is understandably a financial stress, yet she whole heartedly felt her dog deserved treatment.  So as I’m ironing one morning I get an idea (as if I didn’t learn from the last one…) and I yell down for Cole to come upstairs.  I told him the dog situation and said, “I’m going to donate my half of that $100 to help pay her vet bill.  It won’t pay it all, but it will help her.”  I told him he could still do whatever he wanted with his half – but I was secretly hoping he’d agree to do the same.  He said, “Mom, I wanna give her my half too – it’s the right thing to do!”  HOLY PROUDEST MOMENT EVER! 

I’m not sure what clicked within Cole recently, but he’s becoming quite the giver and really thinking of others.  This past weekend I had his Dad’s dog over while he got new hardwood floors.  Love the dog, she’s my redheaded step dog and I was her dog-mom while we were married.  Apparently she has anxiety because she chewed my couch pillows.  When Cole’s Dad dropped him off he saw the mess and felt horrible.  I said, “No biggie, I should probably replace the couches anyway, I just haven’t put any money aside for that yet…”  Cole reaches in his pocket and pulls out a $20 bill he had just gotten from his (other) Grandma, and hands it to me.  He said, “Here Mom, this will help, right?”  HOLY NEW PROUDEST MOMENT EVER! 

You never know when all the lessons, timeouts and strict rules will pay off, but when they do it’s like a realization that you are doing something right.  I am raising a good person, someone who cares and will be a good friend to others, someone who is capable of putting someone else’s needs before his own. 

I have to say…that’s better than all the hat tricks he’s done on the ice rink, all the great pitches or hits he’s had in baseball and better than any report card I see.  My child is a good person.  I’m blessed….and I couldn’t be more in love with him if I tried!